Like I said before, there are some poems that are meant to heal us (the writers). These are the kind of poems that may never leave my journal. Sometimes I write to help others through my own experiences but some other times I simply write to understand what I am feeling. Writing is my own way of coping.
It may sound redundant to say “unshared poetry” yet here I am, sharing it with you– whoever “you” might be. I think of this blog as a safe space, in comparison to Instagram, to share more personal narratives. While Instagram is awesome, it also has more exposure. The poem you will read is a very personal one which also means that it is personal to someone else, the person I am writing about. “Unshared poetry,” in this case, means that I am only sharing it here: in my safe writing space.
I hope you enjoy reading it, and if you take anything from it, take this: sit down with your emotions and write them down, no matter how chaotic and disorganized they sound when you read them out loud, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. Just write.
Unlearn You
Take back the car rides to your hometown
when you placed your hand on my lap
as we sang to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You.” Take back
the names we have chosen for our future kids:
Thomas, Mia, Emma. Take back the countryside,
the white dress, the horses– everything we once said
about our wedding. Take back the crystal rose
you gave me for our 18-month anniversary because it lasted longer
than your love. Take back back every Spanish word
I taught you like mi amor and para siempre. Take back
the fun facts I learned from you: coffee dehydrates you,
when cats rub their head on your skin it means they think of you
as family, ants are the strongest animals because they can lift their weight
many times– but I guess I never listened closely enough to remember
the exact number. Take back the reflection
on the mirror as the toothpaste rolled down our faces every morning.
Take back the morning cereals and the goodnight-kisses. Take back
every Disney movie we ever watched because we will never end
with a happily ever after. Take back the plate of angel hair you ordered
on our first date four years ago and the sushi box with a roll of Mt. Fuji
from our last date. I still keep their paper menu as a memory but
please, take the memories back too. Take back every “forever”
you whispered in happiness but eventually took back. Take back
the trips to Argentina, Vegas, South Carolina, Disney, and New York.
And the trips we planned but never took: Italy. Take back every
“you are the most beautiful girl” because you are now telling them the same.
Take back the first message on Instagram, the first kiss in your car as you dropped me
off because, with it, you would be taking the heartbreak. So please,
please,
please,
please,
take it all back.
